Monday, December 26, 2011

Merry Christmas

I hope that you all had a great time with your families over the holidays.  We ended up spending the entire Christmas weekend with my in-laws.  Which truth be told is not a bad thing. I love all of my in-laws. Some more then others, but at least I can proudly say I love and get a long with them. ;)

This weekend proved to be really tough on our kids though.  It was total chaos Saturday night when 8 out of the 10 grandchildren were over (but how can you expect anything less when 6 of the 10 grand kids are 6 and under?) Gordon has alot harder time dealing with everything then we thought. He had several huge meltdowns on Christmas day, which caused us to leave one of the relatives house early. I couldn't torture everyone by his screaming and crying the entire time now could I?  Hopefully next year will be better. This coming weekend we will have Christmas with my side of the family, provide that my mother is well up to it.

Kids even though they were really, and I mean REALLY trying this year, were over all very good.  Santa gave the kids several of the things they really truly wanted this year.  So that's always a good thing. Kids have had it tough today, because everyone was thrown off their routines this past weekend....then again aren't they always thrown off when one goes to grandma's house? hehehe. So even though it's Christmas break, we'll have to make sure the routines stick.

I hope everyone was blessed as well with Santa.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Johnson Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas to everyone as 2011 comes to a close!!!

This year has been a very turbulent year for the Johnson family.  Honestly- I'm very glad this year is coming to an end. Jessie and I have had a really hard last 2 years saying good-bye to several close and dear loved ones. Granted GOD gave them long lives, but it was so hard to see them go back to the Heavenly Father.  At least He has given us peace, knowing that these people will never be hurting any more. Prayers that this year will be a much happier year and that we do not see anyone going home just yet to the Heavenly Father.

Dawn is still in middle school, loving her new school.  She had to leave her old one due to bullying.  She is soaring both social and academically at this new school. We are so proud of her, it's been great to see her personality blossom at times.  Dawn also received some very important diagnosis' which has explained alot of her quirks, her struggles both socially and academically.  We look forward to things improving for her.  Dawn also finally found a sport that she loves and is really good at. I'm so glad, that we can finally draw her away from the indoor side of life.

Spencer join his sister in the ranks of middle school.  I think as his momma, I was much more anxious about him starting then he was.  But the staff were ready and had steps in place to help with his disabilities.  So far he seems to be doing well and holding his own.  He loves being in 6th grade. He's officially in Boy Scouts this year.  I'm so glad that we stuck it out with all the disorganization and chaos the cub scouts were, he's been soaring this year. He even found a uniform material that he can handle sensory-wise. YAY!!!  He loves his Wednesday night reglion class and looks forward to joining the youth group next year.

Cyril started preschool this year. He LOVES it!!! Due to where his birthday falls, we got the chance to choose to send him to Kindergarten this year or wait. We chose to wait another year, due to him telling the Kindergarten screeners "No thank you, I do not want to do that today." lol. It showed his dad and I that he wasn't quite ready yet.  This year he's been flourishing in preschool and is leading the class in some areas as well.  But I think I'll still have a really hard time when he starts Kindergaten next year like I did, the older two started.

Gordon - It's hard to believe that Gordon has his 1st birthday this year. And the best gift he gave us so far was walking on his birthday.  I'm secretly going to throw a HUGE bash if he ever decides to sleep thru the night.  It's been a long 18 months...but I've never heard of person not ever sleeping thru the night. So we will get there. lol. He continues to surprise us not only how smart he is, but also how sensitive he is to things. So even though it's been a blessing to have him here with us, it's been a challenge at times too. The joke has been around the Johnson household, that he's hit the terrible 2's early.  Heaven help us when he does hit them.

Jessie still works for BNSF and loves almost every minute of it.  He misses the times when he can't be close to us, but we understand that it allows me to stay at home with the kids.  For now I've had to put my daycare business on hold due to the needs all 4 kids have. But honestly that's okay, because it's enabled me to be there for the older 3 in their classrooms through out the school year so far, and to take them to necessary appointments. The kids and I are still very active in our church community which has been a big blessing watching the kids develop their strength and personal relationship with GOD.

I pray that GOD blesses and keeps you all in HIS arms while this year comes to a close and through-out the new year.

The Johnsons

Friday, October 28, 2011

Social Worker

We had a nice visit with Spencer's social worker yesterday.  It's a catch 22 in having one, we got one NOT because we've done anything wrong, but because with one of the programs that Spencer is doing they have to have a "case" worker aka a social worker to monitor his status.  The blessing of having her is that, she's been a wealth of information.  She was able to give us some more information in regards to the clinics that we were on waiting lists for Dawn. I also have really appreciated her, since trying to get a meeting set up to review Spencer's IEP.  So I'm learning that not all social workers are bad. :)

We've been waiting and fighting with the middle school to get a meeting set up. You are supposed to have a meeting 6 weeks after the school year has started to make sure that everything is working, to just check in and etc when your child has an IEP...it's a federal thing.  The interesting thing is, they aren't returning her phone calls either.  Just like parents don't want to get a social worker mad/annoyed...schools shouldn't either. lol.  So she's been helping me in trying to get this meeting set up.  It's interesting the school is avoiding me...you'd think after all that happened with Dawn last year they'd be a little more quick to answer my darn questions.  If this continues it  makes one think they are unable to meet Spencer's needs as well, not ONLY will we pull Spencer from this school district, but the 2 younger boys will NOT be attending this school district.  If you can't meet the basic needs of someone like Spencer - How the hell are you meeting the needs of "normal" kids effectively? It's not like Spencer has Down's or Autism...which honestly depending on the degree can be pretty tough. His needs are pretty basic...similar to learning disabilities. sigh.

Well it will be interesting in the coming weeks how they handle our social worker. And see how things are going...because Spencer is starting to have a few cases of bullying - thankfully he's blessed with some good friends...at least in the sense that they stick up and protect him.  One boy bullied Spencer the other day at pick time.  Then the next day Spencer told these 4 boys and they confronted the 8th grader.  Whose says things can be accomplished in numbers?  But we'll see if this kid stays away from my son...otherwise this MOMMA bear will be coming out to protect another one of her cubs at this darn school.  But he's also struggling grade wise and I'm concerned...I thought they were gonna help him....it doesn't seem like they are.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming...

"Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming."A friend just told me that sentence recently. If you are a parent of a child under the age of 10 years old whether physical or at heart you remember Dory from the movie Nemo.  But there are times when you can't. There are times in a person's life, when it's hard to do that.  When you are drowning and there's nothing you can do to fix it?

Picture a woman that's in the water, her life raft as tipped over.  In the distance she see's her refuge, but no matter how hard she swims the waves keep taking her further and further away from that refuge. Then when you add her "weights", her grown-up responsibilities(taking care of a house, family, job, or etc.) it becomes harder to keep swimming.  Then if one of "weights" has an extra challenge because of their special needs it becomes even harder to swim and to not just let the waves carry her away.

There are times where she just sits and tread water because she's not sure of which direction to go (Does she continue to fight against the waves to get to her refuge? OR Does she just give up and )But the longer she treads water the harder these directions are to figure out.  AND then right now with the season of life that she's going thru the waves are getting BIGGER and BIGGER to try to swim against.  Right now she's been hit by some big ones, and she can't seem to find where the surface of the water is.  It's getting harder and harder to try.  She doesn't want to just give up and let her "air" disappear because by giving up she'd totally fail her children  and her husband...but then again she's so tired of trying to reach the surface, that she just wants to stop...for awhile...what's the answer?

Just wish GOD would answer her prayers sometimes.

God Bless

Monday, September 26, 2011

Asperger's

My mother has always thought that Dawn has Asperger's since she was a very small girl (about the age of 3), I never really listened to her about it. And then about 5 years ago, Dawn was diagnosed with ADHD with anxiety.  I didn't put her on medication because she wasn't showing signs at school where it was interfering in things. Her teachers agreed that she didn't need meds.  Well as time has gone on, she would do stuff that made me quietly think this isn't ADHD - I've never done this (I have ADHD) and I don't know anyone that does this either.This is something more. Mom would insist that the doctor got the diagnosis wrong and that it was Asperger's.  I told her no, I asked the doctor who diagnosed Dawn if she was the spectrum. The doctor was very firm about that and said No she doesn't.  So I believed her.

Well -Dawn has been struggling in school BIG time since then, she has always struggled with friends, social cues and the list goes on and on. I've been trying to get her to be placed on ADHD meds, thinking that the "wall" that ALL of us with ADHD struggle with had finally hit. Well now it was her doctors struggling and dragging their feet about placing her on it.  Recently this past summer my uncle who I loved and respect agrees with my mom that Dawn has Asperger's.  They told me to go to some website and read the definition about it. I compared it with what they had for a definition of ADHD.  I was stunned.  The definition of ADHD fit but not really. Then I went to the Asperger's one and I remember sitting there in the quiet of the night just being stunned, and quietly crying because reading  it- was like they had been in my home her ENTIRE life. How could this had been missed?

So I did some more reading and researching, checked out some books and realized more and more that this is what we are probably looking at.  So I called her peds. doctor - he told me that we needed to have a referral to the local ASD clinic or Autism Spectrum Disorder clinic.  We were looking at a 12-18 month waiting list. So now we contacted two other clinics and we're on all three waiting lists.  Her peds. doctor saw Dawn for something else recently and did a "loose" diagnosis....meaning it's a series of questions that they ask and etc. If it meets those qualifications then we go on to have the official diagnosis.  He said that he's glad I didn't wait till he saw her and that I had placed her on the waiting lists, because he feels that she does have Asperger's.  I have never felt so alone in my life!

Jessie doesn't want to accept that she has this, but he's quietly starting to agree too.  Everything is starting to fall into place.  There's a book that we are reading that answers parent's questions about Asperger's and it's like they wrote this book all about my Dawn!!! Again how come this was missed?  I get mad because all the reading I do about ASD talks about early intervention making the difference and the older they get the harder it is for therapies and resources to make a difference for them.  Have we missed this window?

So what do we do now?  We still patiently wait for her name to come up on the waiting lists. We go through the minefields of emotions that she has. The daily rollar coasters of emotions can be sooo exhausting between her and Spencer's special needs is a lot. I've joined a support group online of parents that have children with ASD or children with Asperger's.  They have been helping me alot not feel so alone, and to understand what's going on and what will be coming.  And I just found out that normal teenage hormonal development becomes a HUGE rollar coaster for "Aspies".  When they are having great days, they are really really great and when they are having rotten days, they are really rotten.  GGGRRREEEAAATTT! Can we say already going through that? :-\

It explains soo much guys about our Dawn...including why she is soo OBSESSED about animals (mainly 1 or 2 in particular), why she has almost NO empathy (which we couldn't understand -because the middle two boys do), and the list goes on. Now on top of her dyslexia (which we also found out this summer about - again - why the hell wasn't this caught?) it's looking like she has Asperger's too.
oy vey! 

GOD only gives you what you can handle with HIS help...but I truly wish he didn't trust me ( & Jessie ) so much.

GOD Bless ~

Friday, February 11, 2011

Time Flies!!!

Oh My Goodness, has time flown by.  Things have been super busy around the Johnson household.  Both good and bad.  Being a mother of 4 has shown me, how super busy life gets....I really wonder how families larger then us, get everything done in a day. So Anywho- I'll do a brief summary of what we've been doing since Thanksgiving. LOL!!! Starting with youngest to oldest. :)

Gordon - is almost 9 months old already.  He's been crawling since November, and boy is he a fast!  You have to watch all the danger zones around him.  We have to make sure the gate to downstairs is gated at ALL times, or he makes a b-line for those stairs. We've had to make a temporary gate to the upstairs, otherwise he watches his siblings go up the stairs and before you know he's up there too.  With how steep these stairs are he'd either kill himself, or we'd end up with another child with a TBI.  Don't want either one of those. Hopefully this spring we'll put more of a permanent gate going upstairs like we have to the downstairs ones.  He's currently cruising along the furniture, and twice has taken a couple of steps.  He's getting closer everyday to walking and if the older 3 have a say, he'll be walking by April. Heaven help us all if that happens. lol. I DO NOT want a 9 month old walking...not ready for that. He now has his bottom 2 teeth, and is currently working on his top 2, which makes nursing a fun occasion...mmm...not so much.  But we'll make it thru, just like I did with Cyril...well I hope we do.  We are currently still Gluten and Dairy free, due to Gordon and my allergies.  Gordon doesn't look like he's going to be growing out of the dairy allergy anytime soon. :(

Cyril-Is 4.5yrs old already, and he's a little pistol. As I have said before God did not make him a red head for nothing. He sure at times lives up to that stereo type, but his parents are showing him, quickly how using that temper, in a negative way gets him into trouble. lol. He is still pretty shy, I can't remember if I've shared about his love/hate relationship with preschool?  Well that's still going on. He HATES the actually leaving to go to preschool, but seems to love being there.  He'd much rather be at home with me, and me teaching him.  But we'll see. He's so smart!!  He problem solves so quickly it's really neat to watch him do that. He's still my little cuddle bug, but for how much longer, I'm not sure.

Spencer - Is doing okay. 5th grade has been really tough for him on all levels. And we are now starting to get school involved in ways that, I don't appreciate. Spencer is late to school on a weekly basis, due to his tantrums that he has about various things. The school is threatening to involve social services, which little do they know, is already involved.  We (meaning Jessie and I) have gotten them involved, to see if we can get more targeted services for him, because school honestly isn't really doing it for him, nor can they thanks to budget cuts by the federal government.  They can only do so much, which is fine. I'm just getting tired of all the promises and not the follow thru.  The window to help him, is slowly closing.  Plus with insurance the way it is, we have limited resources in the area, that he can go to, all of whom have HUGE waiting lists, so I've been fighting with insurance to get a referral to people outside the area if need be. We all know how insurance people are. sigh.  We have a meeting this month to update his IEP, and everyone will be there, wonder how THAT is going to go. We'll see.

Dawn - Is also doing okay. Somethings have come in her life that are proving very difficult for her. This year and the coming years are going to be a huge transition for her and us as a family.  7th grade has been very difficult for her, much more then what I thought. Not to mention how tough it was for me, dealing with her transitioning officially into the teen years. It's really hard thinking of my baby girl as a teenager - where has all the time gone?  No more tea parties, no more frilly dresses, or playing dress up in my clothes.  Now it's friends, and boyfriends (well 1 boyfriend).  We are still looking at different school options since she is still really struggling in school. How on earth do we (Jessie and I) her parents pick the right choice for her?  Public school (stay in the same one or a different one)? Private Christian school(there are 2 which we are looking at - 1 is SUPER strict and the other one isn't.)? OR do we homeschool her? We are getting closer to that final decision.  Hopefully God will answer my prayers and show us the right decision.

So as far as the Johnson children, that's what's been going on in their lives since Thanksgiving.  I won't bore you the details of the comings/goings of Jessie and I.

God Bless~