I wonder

Spencer has been having a really rough time this month as far as sensory things go. Even though he has the injuries that he has, it's easy to forget about them at times, and think of him as a normal 10 year old boy. But this morning, as a lot of mornings recently have gone, I'm reminded so clearly that he is not. He thank goodness has stopped fighting about his new shoes. It only took a week this time...they are a little bigger then I would prefer, but at least they aren't a size and half bigger like he wanted. I think last time, it was over a month before he finally stopped....which I predict will happen again this fall. Wish I could just keep him in tennis shoes all summer, would that prevent that battle from occurring? We are on week 2 of battles with the socks. Sigh. SOCKS!!! Who knew that these little buggers  along with clothes would become my enemy every darn morning? He thankfully didn't fight me about wearing shorts this morning, but he did try to sneak out of the house without wearing socks.  He cries every morning because they "don't feel" right.  How to you argue with or justify to a child that they are just fine?  With his shoe size he's right in the middle of them, so I know they fit just fine. The problem is he likes to wear them (if you aren't paying attention) till he stretches them out sloppy big and then to him the "feel right". Sigh. To a parent that has never had a child with sensory issues or a brain trauma...I can see you all. Just tell him to "suck it up", deal with and etc.  Trust me there have been times, we've done that, but it's more then that, trying thinking of something you absolutely hate to do or wear because the sound bothers you, the taste is disgusts you/makes you gag, the clothes bother you because of the texture and etc.  Everyone has something in 1 of the 5 senses that bothers the hec out of them. They avoid it like a plague.  NOW  - take that feeling and apply it across the board in all 5 senses.  You know have an small idea what my son and every other child with sensory issues goes thru. And even though we learn to avoid those things, sometimes we can't, but we are able to work thru it. These children are not able to. Hence the daily battles. I just pray that we can find a happy medium. As I spend time with my Uncle Greg, or listen to what's going on with him...I wonder if this is where my son will be?

And I wonder if it will every get any easier for us as a family, and for him as a person to deal with his injuries.  We've had a lot of stress at our house this past month, due to various circumstances, some of them have been within our control and others are annoyingly not within our control. Some of them have taken the focus off my children for brief periods of time, and I think Spencer has been picking up on those things as well, maybe that's why things have gotten worse lately with his behavior and with his sensory issues. Or at least a contributing factor. This summer will be very interesting for the older two, hopefully the various activities that I have planned will help some what, and I have to honestly now consider the possibility of eventually having to homeschool at least Spencer.

He's coming to that age where he realizes that he is different, and knows that there really isn't anything that he can do to change it.  And that hurts so much, as his mother. I would love for my little boy to stay in the world where he doesn't notice his differences, and he doesn't realize that others are not like that...but it's not the case anymore, and last night, he wanted to know what he did wrong to be this way. It broke my heart, I tried to explain he didn't do anything wrong. After our conversation, all I could do when I went to bed last night, is cry for my son.  He's being picked on at school, and will not tell me by whom.  How can I protect my son from this hurt along with the other hurts in life?  As a mother, my protective instincts come out big time, how could they not?  But I know that as he gets older, I must let him deal with these, and be there in the wings for him.

God Bless...

39 weeks...

Today is the 39 week mark. The last couple of weeks have been busy as far as the every day family life goes, but as far as baby news goes...nothing. sigh. lol. We had a great visit with my uncle Greg last weekend. He came up with my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Steve. It was the 1st time in 8 mos that I've seen him.  He looked really good, but sounded different at times.  It was strange to see my uncle but at times to listen to him and know that he was a different Greg.  I can't wait to see him again though...hopefully in the next couple of weeks.

Dawn has had an exciting week this week as far as school goes. The entire school got to go Valleyfair for a day this past week.  I thought it was just her grade, but it was the entire school had the option.  She had so much fun.  It was great to see the sparkle in her eyes from having so much fun.  She decided to be in Marching Band this summer. So it will be interesting how that goes, I think she'll have a blast. I remember how much fun it was.  She also this week go word that she is going to be a WEB leader next year.  It's a special mentor type position for the 7th & 8th graders to be for the new students and for the incoming 6th graders. It's really cool. Out of 600+ students in her grade, over 300+ students applied to be one, and it was narrowed down to less then 20 students I believe. So it's really cool that she got selected.

As far as progress goes in regards to the pregnancy...it's coming. Slowly.  I swear I think that Peanut is a girl, since things are progressing so slowly. My due date is officially 7 days away counting today.  And after seeing Dr. B on Thursday - we have a game plan.  If peanut doesn't show by next weekend, we talked about an induction date of either the 1st or 2nd week of June.  So either way by June 12th (I'll be 42weeks along) we will have a new addition to the family.  To be honest the last couple of weeks have been tough.  I feel like I'm having hot flashes all the time, I'm nauseated, feel like a beached whale and the list goes on.  I am having contractions, but they aren't regular...not the Braxton Hicks contractions.  I've made some progressive changes down there since I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, but it's been disappointing at the pace.  When I start Dr. B on Thursday, I know have permission to do stuff naturally to encourage labor.  But like he said, if labor isn't ready to start it won't go.  He even tried stripping my membranes on Thursday.  Oh lordy! Was that uncomfortable. No I didn't think it was going to be pleasant, but I did not expect it to hurt either. But as you can tell, it didn't work.

I've been drinking my red raspberry leaf tea almost every day, and squatting when the contractions do hit and get strong, so we'll see if that will work. I'm going to try a few other things this coming week to see if things will start. Ever since Thursday though, things are getting more and more uncomfortable. It would be great to hear at this coming week's appointment that I'm a 4 or 5cm instead of just 3cm. Next week would be a great time for this peanut to show, because my 3 main daycare kids are gone for the week. But as we all know the peanut will arrive on God's time, not mine.

God Bless

37 weeks

We have now reached the official "full-term" marker today. Yay!  So truly now baby can come any day, since everything is now considered ready.  Up until this week I was feeling really good, especially considering this is baby no. 4. Sure I had moments where I was exhausted, but then again what woman wouldn't be running after daycare children and her own all week long?  Even though I had horrible morning sickness with this one, we had the H1N1 go thru our house, it's been a fairly smooth sailing pregnancy. I don't even really count that scare I had a couple of weeks ago. Compared to the complications that I had with the boys, this has been great, similar to what I had when I was pregnant with Dawn, including the emotional stressors I have had this pregnancy. Drama is all I say on that one.

This week though, things are progressing some more.  I had my 36 week check up this week with Dr. B.  He is so charming and makes me laugh. This time Dawn got to go with and hear the baby's heartbeat. She has yet to be able to go to an appointment with me during this pregnancy because of school. So it was fun watching her expression when she heard  Peanut's heartbeat. She said all in the same breathe "That's so cool, but it's really weird." lol.  Dr. B told us some funny stories about what his 5 boys did growing up. So it was a good 1st visit for Dawn to be there with. Everything is going good. Blood pressure was actually low considering the stressors that I've been under lately. 104/58. I think that's one of the lowest I've ever had. My weight went up, but I was retaining a lot of water this week, and it didn't help that I ate some potato chips either the night before the appointment.  Peanut's heartbeat was in the high 140's. I told Dr. B about some of the changes that I've been experiencing and he said it makes sense that I would be feeling them, since this is baby 4.  He nor I felt like I needed to be checked, that will happen next week.

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. We started to get a tad bit excited yesterday.  I saw some physical changes, along with getting some contractions about 30-40 minutes apart.  They were consistent and I continued to feel like I've gone horseback riding without the benefit of a horse. (I've felt like that all week-not to mention but it feels like the baby is dropping.)They never got really uncomfortable, but enough for me to stop and take notice of the time.  And later last night when the back labor contractions kicked in, they did get stronger, where I needed to breathe thru them.  They got down to about 4minutes apart. I know that some of you are thinking why didn't you go up?  A lot of the physical signs weren't quite there yet, nor did the pain, I got from the contractions warrant a trip up to Labor and Delivery (L & D). I'm glad i didn't go, because at 5am this morning, they stopped till about 8am. Now I'm having constant back "ache", and the contractions are anywhere from 5-20minutes apart. They are quite a bit stronger, but again nothing that I'm going to up for L & D for yet.  It could stay like this till way past my due date, or we could be blessed with Peanut's arrival tomorrow.

It's all in God's hands. He knows Peanut's birthday, and the plan. Would be nice if He shared it with me. ;) So we'll take it semi-easy this weekend. Even though I've got the itch to get this house spotless from top to bottom, I need to work on Peanut's baby blanket, I'm close but not close enough to finish it. I wanted Peanut to come home with it. So hopefully the kids and Jessie will be on board to helping get the house ready. We also need to finalize plans for the kids' childcare/sleeping arrangements for once I go up to L & D. Somethings came up this morning, that don't make me comfortable with the arrangements we once had.

God Bless

36 weeks...

Well it's official, we are now at 9 month marker as of this past Saturday.  According to the count down calendar,  we have 24 days till due date, not counting today.  Spencer this weekend wanted to know when the baby was coming. When we told him anytime now, he's wanted a specific day.  Wouldn't we ALL like to know the day Peanut is going to make his/her arrival? lol. But where's the fun in that?

Things are slowly changing in my body, as it gets ready for the pending birth.I've noticed since late last week, a few changes. It will be interesting to see if there's been any physical changes  at my 37week appointment. I think things have changed slightly that way.  Nothing to get all excited about because these changes can take up the next 4 weeks, or cause me to go at the end of the week. :)  Some friends and family have started picking dates on when this peanut will make it's debut, but we'll see, who's the closest.

Jessie talked to the kids about helping a little more till after the baby is born, but we'll keep them helping with those few chores long after the baby is born. We don't see any reason why they have to stop doing chores just because the baby has arrived. It's not a whole hec of a lot of chores either, even though to the kids they are dying. lol.  I'm glad that he talked to them about it, because I'm not sleeping well at night for a variety of reasons, my body is making me slow down, it's been interesting having to squat and bend to pick up stuff. I swear there's been a few times I wasn't sure I was going to get back up. lol.  It's hard to get things done like the dishes, because the bump is getting into the way. Dawn is poking fun at me, but she's got questions too. So it's been an interesting journey for mother & daughter I think.

This past weekend, Dawn & I went scrapbooking for the day on Saturday, and when we came back Jessie surprised me with rearranging our bedroom and getting the crib set up in our room.  I've got all of Peanut's clothes washed and waiting. So between those two things, it feels like it's time. I'm getting really excited about the arrival now. I just want it to hurry up and get here, but on the one hand, I'll willing for it to wait till it's ready...for now.