A woman once fretted over the usefulness of her life. She feared she was wasting her potential being a devoted wife and mother. She wondered if the time and energy she invested in her husband and children would make a difference. At times she got discouraged because so much of what she did seemed to go unnoticed and unappreciated. "Is it worth it? She often wondered. "Is there something better that I could be doing with my time?"
It was during one of these moments of questioning that she heard the still small voice of her Heavenly Father speak to her heart. "You are a wife and mother because that is what I called you to be. Much of what you do is hidden from the public eye. But I notice. Most of what you give is done without remuneration. But I am your reward. Your husband cannot be the man I have called him to be without your support. Your influence upon him is greater than you think and more powerful than you will ever know. I bless him through your service and honor him through your love. Your children are precious to me. Even more precious than they are to you. I have entrusted them to your care to raise for me. What you invest in them is an offering to me.
You may never be in the public spotlight. But your obedience shines as a bright light before me.
Continue On.
Remember you are my servant: "Do all to please me"
By Roy Lessin
Remember, this important poem if you ever feel this way as a woman, and a mom. I know that there are times that I do, and this poem reminds me.
God Bless,
Carlena
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I wonder...
We spend SO much time as women, as moms, thinking that we must do everything, and not only do everything, but it must be perfect. We must be super moms. Society says that we should be working moms, our homes should be perfect, we should be master chiefs - making healthy meals for our family, our children should always be well-behaved, the list goes on and on. FOR WHAT!? Why do we listen to this, why do we beat ourselves up endlessly for this? We CAN'T do it all, but we struggle and struggle to do it all. We must as moms, and as a family choose which is for the best for our family. Be okay with that choice.
Lately, with us trying to get back on FlyLady, and getting things back on track that way, I was hit with something. Why do we have to do it all alone, and be perfect at it? Who is this Master score keeper? The Lord? He's not keeping track of these things, because He knows we can't do it all. But nevertheless, we act like we must do everything perfect to get that "medal"...where our priorities? By trying to do it all perfectly, there are for many of us, where things are slipping on all levels...so where do we prioritize? Why is it when things go wrong, people look for excuses, or for others to blame, especially when it comes to raising our children? This year - I have decided to start making better choices in what and how I want to raise my kids. I'm sick and tired of the disrespect, lack of manners of kids, lack of good hygiene, this list goes go on and on. I'm not always perfect, and may not always get it right, but as least I'm trying, not blaming others.
For example: I've noticed the difference in the ways that my children clean, and their attitudes about it. Part of me is filled with great sadness about it. When Dawn & Spencer were little - I felt so overwhelmed with everything, and the fact that I couldn't do it all perfectly...I just stopped. I've known about FlyLady, but have struggled with it. The kids when, they were little like Cyril's age now, would try. Either I would tell them, that it wasn't right and/or I'd redo what they just did. Or I'd get frustrated with their lack of help, and crab about how I was the ONLY one doing. (Which is how I've done frequently now that they are older.)Now looking back, I realize how devastating that is to their self esteem. Why did it matter that it had to be perfect? Who cares? Now with Cyril, I let him help all the time...well within reason(as long as it's not dangerous). Granted his attention span is about 10 minutes, he doesn't always listen, AND it's sometimes a lot messier then before he "helped" me. But to see his eyes light up, as he's helping. IT'S priceless people!
I hope I'm not alone in this, but if I am that's okay. I'm glad I realized the mistake before I did it with the last two, and I'm doing my darnest to try and undo the mistake with the older two. For example - last weekend was the 1st time, Dawn & Spencer have ever helped, and I mean really helped clean the bathrooms. It was so HARD to let them do it all by themselves. They wiped down the counters, tub, swept the floors & etc. Sure I could have done a better job, but the pride in their eyes, when I said "Job well done." Was priceless. It KILLED me not to go back and "fix" what they did, but I knew that would crush them, and I didn't want to do that. I had plenty of time this week to clean it up, which I did in my daily chores, but when the kids asked what I was doing: "Keeping up the great job you all did, this past weekend." Again seeing their eyes sparkle and shine was wonderful. Why can't I do more of that?
Today Cyril - has been bound and determined to help me with everything. He had to help with the dishes (He got a mini bath), he had to clean the patio windows with Windex. I swear he used half a stack of napkins & Windex. But it was cute to see him do it. He had to help me roll the rug to vacuum the living room floor. He helped the kids & I pick up the toys in there too. He's waiting "patiently" to help with the laundry, thankfully they are sorted before we start. lol. But I'm hoping that I will continue to boost his self-esteem, and create good cleaning habits, that I did such a poor job with the older two.
God Bless~
Carlena
Lately, with us trying to get back on FlyLady, and getting things back on track that way, I was hit with something. Why do we have to do it all alone, and be perfect at it? Who is this Master score keeper? The Lord? He's not keeping track of these things, because He knows we can't do it all. But nevertheless, we act like we must do everything perfect to get that "medal"...where our priorities? By trying to do it all perfectly, there are for many of us, where things are slipping on all levels...so where do we prioritize? Why is it when things go wrong, people look for excuses, or for others to blame, especially when it comes to raising our children? This year - I have decided to start making better choices in what and how I want to raise my kids. I'm sick and tired of the disrespect, lack of manners of kids, lack of good hygiene, this list goes go on and on. I'm not always perfect, and may not always get it right, but as least I'm trying, not blaming others.
For example: I've noticed the difference in the ways that my children clean, and their attitudes about it. Part of me is filled with great sadness about it. When Dawn & Spencer were little - I felt so overwhelmed with everything, and the fact that I couldn't do it all perfectly...I just stopped. I've known about FlyLady, but have struggled with it. The kids when, they were little like Cyril's age now, would try. Either I would tell them, that it wasn't right and/or I'd redo what they just did. Or I'd get frustrated with their lack of help, and crab about how I was the ONLY one doing. (Which is how I've done frequently now that they are older.)Now looking back, I realize how devastating that is to their self esteem. Why did it matter that it had to be perfect? Who cares? Now with Cyril, I let him help all the time...well within reason(as long as it's not dangerous). Granted his attention span is about 10 minutes, he doesn't always listen, AND it's sometimes a lot messier then before he "helped" me. But to see his eyes light up, as he's helping. IT'S priceless people!
I hope I'm not alone in this, but if I am that's okay. I'm glad I realized the mistake before I did it with the last two, and I'm doing my darnest to try and undo the mistake with the older two. For example - last weekend was the 1st time, Dawn & Spencer have ever helped, and I mean really helped clean the bathrooms. It was so HARD to let them do it all by themselves. They wiped down the counters, tub, swept the floors & etc. Sure I could have done a better job, but the pride in their eyes, when I said "Job well done." Was priceless. It KILLED me not to go back and "fix" what they did, but I knew that would crush them, and I didn't want to do that. I had plenty of time this week to clean it up, which I did in my daily chores, but when the kids asked what I was doing: "Keeping up the great job you all did, this past weekend." Again seeing their eyes sparkle and shine was wonderful. Why can't I do more of that?
Today Cyril - has been bound and determined to help me with everything. He had to help with the dishes (He got a mini bath), he had to clean the patio windows with Windex. I swear he used half a stack of napkins & Windex. But it was cute to see him do it. He had to help me roll the rug to vacuum the living room floor. He helped the kids & I pick up the toys in there too. He's waiting "patiently" to help with the laundry, thankfully they are sorted before we start. lol. But I'm hoping that I will continue to boost his self-esteem, and create good cleaning habits, that I did such a poor job with the older two.
God Bless~
Carlena
It appeared!
The it that I'm talking about is our federal tax refund. Compared to years past it's a small one this year, but we are just thankful that we didn't need to pay into taxes for it or have it taken for child support for the twins, like our state stuff is. (Which is fine - a whole long story about that.) This year, knock on wood we didn't need it for car repairs...yet. And with Jessie having only been able to work less then 1 month since the beginning of the new year, it came at a perfect time for us to get things catch up, and get some things that we needed too.
As a result we were able to treat the family to dinner. We took the kids out to eat at Mexican Village restaurant and it was a great time. I was nervous to take the kids out to eat on a Saturday night in this town. If your town is like ours on a Saturday night it's CRAZY!!!! lol. We actually didn't have to wait to long (30-45minute wait @ around 6:30), and service was great! I love going there because they have a good gluten free menu for me to choose from, but they have stuff equally that everyone can eat. The only down side was that mom wasn't able to come. That's her favorite restaurant, but she was in Rochester visiting my relatives there, and they all went to the near by town that my uncle Greg is staying at.
Back to the restaurant, Cyril was funny, while we were waiting to be seated. He has been becoming more of a chatterbox every day, and he loved telling me what color birds where hanging in the lobby area. lol. And if had a lot of colors, his hands get spread as wide as he can make them, and says "Lots and lots of colors mom." :) All three of the kids were pleasant to be with, and another miracle accord with Dawn & Spencer....NO ARGUING!!! :D
I'm so glad that the evening ended on such a great note.
God Bless~
Carlena
As a result we were able to treat the family to dinner. We took the kids out to eat at Mexican Village restaurant and it was a great time. I was nervous to take the kids out to eat on a Saturday night in this town. If your town is like ours on a Saturday night it's CRAZY!!!! lol. We actually didn't have to wait to long (30-45minute wait @ around 6:30), and service was great! I love going there because they have a good gluten free menu for me to choose from, but they have stuff equally that everyone can eat. The only down side was that mom wasn't able to come. That's her favorite restaurant, but she was in Rochester visiting my relatives there, and they all went to the near by town that my uncle Greg is staying at.
Back to the restaurant, Cyril was funny, while we were waiting to be seated. He has been becoming more of a chatterbox every day, and he loved telling me what color birds where hanging in the lobby area. lol. And if had a lot of colors, his hands get spread as wide as he can make them, and says "Lots and lots of colors mom." :) All three of the kids were pleasant to be with, and another miracle accord with Dawn & Spencer....NO ARGUING!!! :D
I'm so glad that the evening ended on such a great note.
God Bless~
Carlena
Saturday, February 27, 2010
FlyLady is spreading.....
I'm happy to report as this month comes to an end, that I have managed to keep the kitchen almost Flylady approved status all month. There was a couple of times, that I didn't do it, or only did my kitchen sinnk, but that is a huge improvement compared to what it has been this winter.
Funny thing has started to happen: FlyLady is getting Jessi,the kids, and my daycare kids on board too, without them realizing it. It's been really easy this last week or so in getting my daycare kids to help clean up after themselves (3-4yr olds I mean). Last weekend Jessie had Dawn & Spencer clean the livingroom, and I mean really clean it. They moved all the furniture, cleaned up the toys, dusted and vaccumed. He then had them pick 2 of the bathrooms to clean, Dawn did the upstairs, and Spencer, did the main floor one. It's been amazing this past week how it's only taken a little bit of prompting to get them to pick up after themselves, and keep those areas clean. Plus I reminded them, and my oldest daycare girl a couple of times "Your maid has left the building, please do...." Even Cyril helped out too. lol. He took about a half a bottle of Windex to clean the windows that he could reach, but he helped.
Now today, we deep cleaned the upstairs bedrooms. Dawn for the most part has been keeping her room clean since this fall. She is trying to prove that she is old enough to stay up later then 8-8:30 on a school night. So she didn't have too much to do, the boys' room on the other hand is a completely different story. We still did to their rooms like we did to the livingroom last weekend. We moved all the furniture...okay I didn't move any furniture, Jessie & the kids did. Then we vaccumed, or swiffered the floor, dusted and etc. It's so nice to go upstairs and see how clean their rooms are. I'm hoping that Spencer, will do a better job at keeping his side of the boys' room clean, but we'll see. That's a work in progress all of it's own.
Now if we can keep the main rooms and upstairs clean, that will be a nice present to ourselves. I'm still thinking of printing off some Riley challenges that the FlyLady has for kids, and see if we can't build some great habits in the kids, especially the older two. Cyril has been doing a great job, he loves to help clean, now if I can just "let" him do it, and be okay with the imperfections. I hope that I will encourage some great habits, and undo the old ones.
God Bless~
Carlena
Funny thing has started to happen: FlyLady is getting Jessi,the kids, and my daycare kids on board too, without them realizing it. It's been really easy this last week or so in getting my daycare kids to help clean up after themselves (3-4yr olds I mean). Last weekend Jessie had Dawn & Spencer clean the livingroom, and I mean really clean it. They moved all the furniture, cleaned up the toys, dusted and vaccumed. He then had them pick 2 of the bathrooms to clean, Dawn did the upstairs, and Spencer, did the main floor one. It's been amazing this past week how it's only taken a little bit of prompting to get them to pick up after themselves, and keep those areas clean. Plus I reminded them, and my oldest daycare girl a couple of times "Your maid has left the building, please do...." Even Cyril helped out too. lol. He took about a half a bottle of Windex to clean the windows that he could reach, but he helped.
Now today, we deep cleaned the upstairs bedrooms. Dawn for the most part has been keeping her room clean since this fall. She is trying to prove that she is old enough to stay up later then 8-8:30 on a school night. So she didn't have too much to do, the boys' room on the other hand is a completely different story. We still did to their rooms like we did to the livingroom last weekend. We moved all the furniture...okay I didn't move any furniture, Jessie & the kids did. Then we vaccumed, or swiffered the floor, dusted and etc. It's so nice to go upstairs and see how clean their rooms are. I'm hoping that Spencer, will do a better job at keeping his side of the boys' room clean, but we'll see. That's a work in progress all of it's own.
Now if we can keep the main rooms and upstairs clean, that will be a nice present to ourselves. I'm still thinking of printing off some Riley challenges that the FlyLady has for kids, and see if we can't build some great habits in the kids, especially the older two. Cyril has been doing a great job, he loves to help clean, now if I can just "let" him do it, and be okay with the imperfections. I hope that I will encourage some great habits, and undo the old ones.
God Bless~
Carlena
2nd u/s
Well we had a 2nd ultrasound on Wednesday. I ended up switching to my old OB/GYN doctor after I discovered recently that he was practicing at a different clinic. I didn't realize how stressed out I was about him not being my doctor, till after I left the clinic last week, and it was like this HUGE weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He didn't like the sketchy details the U/S tech had in my file. The U/S results from last month STILL were not in my file, so he ordered a new one.
This time around it was either the U/S tech, the machine or both, but the U/S seemed to be super clear. I can't get over how clear everything seemed to be. And a relief to me was that baby flipped this time. It's head down, butt up...I know, I know, it can still change in the next 10 weeks and go back. If it does there is this great website that a midwife neighbor of mine told me about, which I'll try. This time around the tech got everything that it needed too, and sometimes several shots of certain things. It looked like everything went okay, but I'll know on Thursday when I go in to see Dr. B. The best reassurance is that he still reads his own patients' results, the old doctor didn't do that.
Baby is a....surprise. ;P The U/S tech was kind enough to let me know in advance when she was going for the gender shot, had me close my eyes and yes -everyone I did close my eyes. She even saved that picture on a separate image for Jessie to look at later. The cool thing about this clinic besides my doctor being there is that U/S results are put on a CD. Baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule and she thinks it's going to be a big baby according to the stomach measurements (unless I have gestational diabetes - which I'll find out on Thursday.), it's keeping up with his/her siblings, since they were all big. Weight is an estimate 2.2lbs, it's gained 1 pound in about a 3-4 weeks.
My hunch is that this little one is now a boy. My belly is carrying more like I did with the boys, very low and almost in my hips, my skin has cleared up(had great skin with the boys, not with Dawn), and the biggest clue: A couple of times during the U/S, I saw a faint "turtle" shot, which is usually the clue it's a boy, but they weren't real clear shots, very faint.
Jessie looked last night at the CD, and said that if the tech hadn't written what the gender was, he wouldn't have had a clue. It wasn't as clear of a shot as David's gender shot was. With David- we both knew right away, when we say it. But he hasn't let on either way if it's a boy or girl yet. He's a good secret keeper though....so we'll see what happens. He hasn't said anything to the kids, but we all know that I'll know within the day, that they know. They have a competition going on about where this baby is sleeping depending on it's gender. lol.
I was really amazed at the disappointment I felt Wednesday night, at the mere THOUGHT of it being another boy. I didn't realize how badly I want this baby to be a girl. So I journaled a lot about it, prayed to GOD about it, and even talked to one of my MOPS mentor moms about it. She gave me some great advice. (This woman is amazing though. She is such a steward of GOD, it's amazing how she always seems, to have the right advice, piece of wisdom to share or encouragement to give. Even with everything she has had to deal with this past year, she still comes to MOPS and encourages/mentors us younger moms.)I also talked to Jessie about my feelings about it. I'm not so disappointed now, because bottom line I want this baby healthy. And like my mentor mom said. This baby was picked for our family...we may not see how this baby fits in our family, but whether it's a boy or girl, it will be the perfect fit for our family.
GOD Bless~
Carlena
This time around it was either the U/S tech, the machine or both, but the U/S seemed to be super clear. I can't get over how clear everything seemed to be. And a relief to me was that baby flipped this time. It's head down, butt up...I know, I know, it can still change in the next 10 weeks and go back. If it does there is this great website that a midwife neighbor of mine told me about, which I'll try. This time around the tech got everything that it needed too, and sometimes several shots of certain things. It looked like everything went okay, but I'll know on Thursday when I go in to see Dr. B. The best reassurance is that he still reads his own patients' results, the old doctor didn't do that.
Baby is a....surprise. ;P The U/S tech was kind enough to let me know in advance when she was going for the gender shot, had me close my eyes and yes -everyone I did close my eyes. She even saved that picture on a separate image for Jessie to look at later. The cool thing about this clinic besides my doctor being there is that U/S results are put on a CD. Baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule and she thinks it's going to be a big baby according to the stomach measurements (unless I have gestational diabetes - which I'll find out on Thursday.), it's keeping up with his/her siblings, since they were all big. Weight is an estimate 2.2lbs, it's gained 1 pound in about a 3-4 weeks.
My hunch is that this little one is now a boy. My belly is carrying more like I did with the boys, very low and almost in my hips, my skin has cleared up(had great skin with the boys, not with Dawn), and the biggest clue: A couple of times during the U/S, I saw a faint "turtle" shot, which is usually the clue it's a boy, but they weren't real clear shots, very faint.
Jessie looked last night at the CD, and said that if the tech hadn't written what the gender was, he wouldn't have had a clue. It wasn't as clear of a shot as David's gender shot was. With David- we both knew right away, when we say it. But he hasn't let on either way if it's a boy or girl yet. He's a good secret keeper though....so we'll see what happens. He hasn't said anything to the kids, but we all know that I'll know within the day, that they know. They have a competition going on about where this baby is sleeping depending on it's gender. lol.
I was really amazed at the disappointment I felt Wednesday night, at the mere THOUGHT of it being another boy. I didn't realize how badly I want this baby to be a girl. So I journaled a lot about it, prayed to GOD about it, and even talked to one of my MOPS mentor moms about it. She gave me some great advice. (This woman is amazing though. She is such a steward of GOD, it's amazing how she always seems, to have the right advice, piece of wisdom to share or encouragement to give. Even with everything she has had to deal with this past year, she still comes to MOPS and encourages/mentors us younger moms.)I also talked to Jessie about my feelings about it. I'm not so disappointed now, because bottom line I want this baby healthy. And like my mentor mom said. This baby was picked for our family...we may not see how this baby fits in our family, but whether it's a boy or girl, it will be the perfect fit for our family.
GOD Bless~
Carlena
Monday, February 15, 2010
Super mommy
It is now after midnight, and I'm proud of myself. I accomplished much today, and this evening. I don't know if it's nesting or just getting some extra energy to get things accomplished.
I got our room clean almost FlyLady clean. My kitchen is almost done, I still haven't gotten to the floors this weekend, BUT my sink is shining, my dishes are done, my counters are clean...for going on two weeks solid I think. I didn't get the dishes dried and put away, but I'm okay with that. I told my perfectionist mom/wife side to "SHUT UP" for the night. ;)
I got only 1 load of laundry washed, and dried...but got a tons folded and put away. I'm proud of that. "Shut UP" Perfectionist mom. I got the livingroom, and office semi right again. A hec of a lot better then on Friday, when we were looking for my daycare girl P's boot. I was so embrassed that the house had gotten that chaotic. The perfectionist side of me would be saying: "You can't vacuum the livingroom, or diningroom. It's NOT done yet." "You didn't get the books on the bookshelf put away, nor did you put the paperwork away. It's NOT done yet." BUT guess what: "SHUT UP perfectionistic mom" It's perfect for tonight I think.
I got to spend time with my babies, and my husband. Hec- I even got some knitting in, and some watching of the Olympics in tonight too. I say that's a great night for this Super mommy. Remember baby steps, baby steps.
God Bless,
Carlena
I got our room clean almost FlyLady clean. My kitchen is almost done, I still haven't gotten to the floors this weekend, BUT my sink is shining, my dishes are done, my counters are clean...for going on two weeks solid I think. I didn't get the dishes dried and put away, but I'm okay with that. I told my perfectionist mom/wife side to "SHUT UP" for the night. ;)
I got only 1 load of laundry washed, and dried...but got a tons folded and put away. I'm proud of that. "Shut UP" Perfectionist mom. I got the livingroom, and office semi right again. A hec of a lot better then on Friday, when we were looking for my daycare girl P's boot. I was so embrassed that the house had gotten that chaotic. The perfectionist side of me would be saying: "You can't vacuum the livingroom, or diningroom. It's NOT done yet." "You didn't get the books on the bookshelf put away, nor did you put the paperwork away. It's NOT done yet." BUT guess what: "SHUT UP perfectionistic mom" It's perfect for tonight I think.
I got to spend time with my babies, and my husband. Hec- I even got some knitting in, and some watching of the Olympics in tonight too. I say that's a great night for this Super mommy. Remember baby steps, baby steps.
God Bless,
Carlena
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Let the nesting begin....
I'm starting to wonder if I've entered into the nesting phase of this pregnancy, glutton for punishment or maybe a little bit of both. ;) Most people that know me in person know that if I get tired of waiting for someone to do something, or if I'm not sure a person will help I just do it myself. Well I think this past week I have over done it a wee bit.
Well, last week we got about 6 inches of snow, (I think that was the total) the roof needed to be shovel, because otherwise our landlord would have had a fit. I already had gotten two emails in regards to making sure the roof got done. I know that he worries about his house, and wants to make sure we do a good job taking care of it, but sometimes....
Anyways, since Jessie was out of town working the task fell to me. It's not really that big of a deal, but LORD did he have a fit when he discovered what I did when he got home. Not only did I take the snow rake and did the front of the house, but I climbed out on to the back part of the roof to get that all done too. Again not a big deal. It's not like I needed to get a ladder, part of the house has flat roofs, that's what needed to get done. But for the rest of the week, I ended up getting a lot of BH contractions. :(
Almost ended up going to the hospital as a result. Read I should have gone up, but when I got there, I had to go thru ER, wait in their waiting room (Sick people), and go thru admitting. UM, I'm not there for a social visit but for contractions people!!! So I said screw it, and left. You should have seen the shock on these people's faces, when I said I'm leaving. You would have thought I had two heads. So I've been taking it semi-easy this weekend, and will continue to till I see the doctor later this week.
Fast forward to today though...I've started cleaning our room/ getting the house re-organized, trying to finish a baby blanket I had knitted for my neice/trying to start one for the baby(getting very stressful), planning the meals we will need again for when the baby arrives. I had a good stash, but we've been using them since Jessie was laid off for much of last month. So time to get going again, not to mention I need to get our pantry and household stash built back up for when this little one arrives. It's amazing how easy it is to start feeling overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done in preparation of his/her arrival.
In some ways May seems like a long ways off. Spring seems so far away, but really it's 15 weeks away to due today, can you believe I'm getting close to less then 100 days till D-day!
So I think it's safe to say: Nesting has begun. :)
God Bless,
Carlena
Well, last week we got about 6 inches of snow, (I think that was the total) the roof needed to be shovel, because otherwise our landlord would have had a fit. I already had gotten two emails in regards to making sure the roof got done. I know that he worries about his house, and wants to make sure we do a good job taking care of it, but sometimes....
Anyways, since Jessie was out of town working the task fell to me. It's not really that big of a deal, but LORD did he have a fit when he discovered what I did when he got home. Not only did I take the snow rake and did the front of the house, but I climbed out on to the back part of the roof to get that all done too. Again not a big deal. It's not like I needed to get a ladder, part of the house has flat roofs, that's what needed to get done. But for the rest of the week, I ended up getting a lot of BH contractions. :(
Almost ended up going to the hospital as a result. Read I should have gone up, but when I got there, I had to go thru ER, wait in their waiting room (Sick people), and go thru admitting. UM, I'm not there for a social visit but for contractions people!!! So I said screw it, and left. You should have seen the shock on these people's faces, when I said I'm leaving. You would have thought I had two heads. So I've been taking it semi-easy this weekend, and will continue to till I see the doctor later this week.
Fast forward to today though...I've started cleaning our room/ getting the house re-organized, trying to finish a baby blanket I had knitted for my neice/trying to start one for the baby(getting very stressful), planning the meals we will need again for when the baby arrives. I had a good stash, but we've been using them since Jessie was laid off for much of last month. So time to get going again, not to mention I need to get our pantry and household stash built back up for when this little one arrives. It's amazing how easy it is to start feeling overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done in preparation of his/her arrival.
In some ways May seems like a long ways off. Spring seems so far away, but really it's 15 weeks away to due today, can you believe I'm getting close to less then 100 days till D-day!
So I think it's safe to say: Nesting has begun. :)
God Bless,
Carlena
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Get easier....
This week has really been hard on me. I'm not sure if it's all pregnant hormone related or is it that combined with every day life stresses?
Spencer had a really tough couple of days this week. He was off sensory-wise both Tuesday & Wednesday. It was hell, dealing with things I thought were getting better with him. He was more combative, not wanting to change his socks(the other pairs don't feel right), not wanting to wear 1 of 3 long sleeve shirts, not wanting to change clothes because the others don't feel right. He"s not sleeping well this week, doesn't matter what time he goes to bed he's up and down, or wide awake for several hours. The list goes on and on....ah the life of dealing with a person who has special needs.
Plus I thought I was dealing well with what's happened to uncle Greg. But twice this week, things have happened with the house, that makes me want to call him up and say "Hey, what do you think about this, or is this normal?" Then it hits me all over again, that I can't call him to ask. I miss him so much. It's not like he dead, but in a way he is because the uncle I grew up with is gone...does this ever get any easier? Does the pain of them not bein there or being who they once were get any easier? GOD I hope. Because this hurts and it really sucks.
The list could with other examples of what's been going on. But it's time to go to MOPS. It's time to get some mommy "cup" replenished.
God Bless
Spencer had a really tough couple of days this week. He was off sensory-wise both Tuesday & Wednesday. It was hell, dealing with things I thought were getting better with him. He was more combative, not wanting to change his socks(the other pairs don't feel right), not wanting to wear 1 of 3 long sleeve shirts, not wanting to change clothes because the others don't feel right. He"s not sleeping well this week, doesn't matter what time he goes to bed he's up and down, or wide awake for several hours. The list goes on and on....ah the life of dealing with a person who has special needs.
Plus I thought I was dealing well with what's happened to uncle Greg. But twice this week, things have happened with the house, that makes me want to call him up and say "Hey, what do you think about this, or is this normal?" Then it hits me all over again, that I can't call him to ask. I miss him so much. It's not like he dead, but in a way he is because the uncle I grew up with is gone...does this ever get any easier? Does the pain of them not bein there or being who they once were get any easier? GOD I hope. Because this hurts and it really sucks.
The list could with other examples of what's been going on. But it's time to go to MOPS. It's time to get some mommy "cup" replenished.
God Bless
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Back to the FlyLady
I have been a member or in FlyLady world, a flybaby for years...I think when Spencer was a toddler. I love her ideas and concepts, but to be honest, struggle often to stay on the Flywagon due to my ADHD. Plus I think part of me is rebellious to the fact that here I am an adult and I need someone to tell me HOW to keep my house clean. It's embarrassing!
Fast forward to our move this past spring. I was going to hit the ground running with keeping everything clean, not let things backslide to what I've always struggled with: Chaos, clutter, and over all keeping on top of things.
I did GREAT this summer!! I had several people comment at how proud they were, and were amazed at how I was doing it, on top of running my daycare business this summer. I was also very impressed with myself. I didn't know that I could do it, since consistency is a weekly struggle, maybe more like daily.
Then real life entered and changed my life(& my family's) this fall. It threw me a curve ball...make that lots of curve balls. Looking back I think I went into a bit of a depression because of all of it. Then again...maybe I'm not alone where life gets to be just a little to much at times, and you just "walk away" for a little while. These are times that I need to allow myself to trust in the Lord and ask that He carry me (like the Footprints poem).
This Fall: Kids starting school, my uncle having his brain hemorrhage, getting pregnant(having the worse morning sickness), then the kids and I getting H1N1 and etc. It became way to much for me, and the house started to slip back into it's former existence (like when we were at the apartment). I tried to do several other ways of cleaning, knowing in the back of my mind what really worked for me. But I was still rebelling. I didn't want to acknowledge that I needed FlyLady. But I do.
But I've come to the realization, that our life this summer was smoother because of FlyLady. Granted we didn't have as much activity in our lives then, but she kept us on track. And I was a nicer, happier mommy because of FlyLady.
So a week ago tonight, I started back at the beginning and am back to taking my babysteps. I have kept my sink shined for a week solid. Now today I cleaned the entire kitchen...well that's not true. I didn't get to the floor yet, but I'm taking babysteps. I'm not letting that perfectionist in me get in the way. My house will be clean and organized again like last summer...just need to do it the FlyLady way.
http://www.flylady.net/
There is the link to her website, if you are not familiar with FlyLady or are like me and need a little help getting the Chaos back under control.
Speaking of FlyLady, I need to go work on Mt. Washmore a little bit.
God Bless,
Fast forward to our move this past spring. I was going to hit the ground running with keeping everything clean, not let things backslide to what I've always struggled with: Chaos, clutter, and over all keeping on top of things.
I did GREAT this summer!! I had several people comment at how proud they were, and were amazed at how I was doing it, on top of running my daycare business this summer. I was also very impressed with myself. I didn't know that I could do it, since consistency is a weekly struggle, maybe more like daily.
Then real life entered and changed my life(& my family's) this fall. It threw me a curve ball...make that lots of curve balls. Looking back I think I went into a bit of a depression because of all of it. Then again...maybe I'm not alone where life gets to be just a little to much at times, and you just "walk away" for a little while. These are times that I need to allow myself to trust in the Lord and ask that He carry me (like the Footprints poem).
This Fall: Kids starting school, my uncle having his brain hemorrhage, getting pregnant(having the worse morning sickness
But I've come to the realization, that our life this summer was smoother because of FlyLady. Granted we didn't have as much activity in our lives then, but she kept us on track. And I was a nicer, happier mommy because of FlyLady.
So a week ago tonight, I started back at the beginning and am back to taking my babysteps. I have kept my sink shined for a week solid. Now today I cleaned the entire kitchen...well that's not true. I didn't get to the floor yet, but I'm taking babysteps. I'm not letting that perfectionist in me get in the way. My house will be clean and organized again like last summer...just need to do it the FlyLady way.
http://www.flylady.net/
There is the link to her website, if you are not familiar with FlyLady or are like me and need a little help getting the Chaos back under control.
Speaking of FlyLady, I need to go work on Mt. Washmore a little bit.
God Bless,
Name changes....
Cyber friend of mine, had something horrible happen to her, in regards to her blog. Some people were kind enough to give her a heads up. Someone had been stalking her blog. This woman stole pictures of my friend's oldest daughter and renamed her. So as of this day, I have changed the kids names on the blog for their safety. I'm not saying someone is doing that with my kids, but in regards to history I have with Dawn's bio-father, I can't risk a chance. Plus the there are scary people out there, as we were recently reminded of that on my friend's blog.
So they will forever be known as Dawn, Spencer & Cyril...for now. We'll take more steps if we need too.
God Bless -
So they will forever be known as Dawn, Spencer & Cyril...for now. We'll take more steps if we need too.
God Bless -
Let it snow, Let it snow....
This past week we've gotten several good snow falls. The kids have hated hearing the words "It snowed." They have had to help and shovel, which their Nana says I'm being mean by making them do it. Heck even little Cyril had gotten into it.
Today ended up being fun watching the kids. We had gotten about 1/2 -1 inch of snow over the night, and Dawn volunteered to do all of the sidewalks (5 of them) and Spencer only had to do the driveway (a really good deal on his end). He was having one of his sensory mornings, so it was touching to watch Dawn volunteer and be such a kind loving sister. (They've been bickering a lot lately.)
The next thing Jessie looks out the window and the kids were making a fort at the end of the driveway...TOGETHER! It was amazing to see the team work, see the smiles and hear the giggling. It's been awhile.
Even Cyril wanted to get out and see what was going on with the big kids, and so he got suited up, and went out with his big sister. She had wanted to come in, but agreed to help out with him. (She is such a great big sister to Cyril...wish it stretched to Spencer more.) Then the two of them went to the back yard and were trying to locate icicles, and were using my broom to get them. lol. Then Spencer saw all the fun, and joined them. It lasted for about an hour before they came in.
I got some great photo shots of them goofing around. I laughed so hard at the three of them, my sides hurt and I bet the baby was wondering what the hec was going on out here.
By the way it hasn't stopped snowing all day. It's about time we get a good snow fall, we haven't gotten really anything since Christmas time last year. I'd love to make a snowman with the kids.
God Bless,
Today ended up being fun watching the kids. We had gotten about 1/2 -1 inch of snow over the night, and Dawn volunteered to do all of the sidewalks (5 of them) and Spencer only had to do the driveway (a really good deal on his end). He was having one of his sensory mornings, so it was touching to watch Dawn volunteer and be such a kind loving sister. (They've been bickering a lot lately.)
The next thing Jessie looks out the window and the kids were making a fort at the end of the driveway...TOGETHER! It was amazing to see the team work, see the smiles and hear the giggling. It's been awhile.
Even Cyril wanted to get out and see what was going on with the big kids, and so he got suited up, and went out with his big sister. She had wanted to come in, but agreed to help out with him. (She is such a great big sister to Cyril...wish it stretched to Spencer more.) Then the two of them went to the back yard and were trying to locate icicles, and were using my broom to get them. lol. Then Spencer saw all the fun, and joined them. It lasted for about an hour before they came in.
I got some great photo shots of them goofing around. I laughed so hard at the three of them, my sides hurt and I bet the baby was wondering what the hec was going on out here.
By the way it hasn't stopped snowing all day. It's about time we get a good snow fall, we haven't gotten really anything since Christmas time last year. I'd love to make a snowman with the kids.
God Bless,
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Kiss me...
"Kiss me, Momma!" Cyril told me tonight.
After everything that has been going on with Jessie's child support case, and then tonight I was given a summons, due to my car accident 2yrs ago. I was DONE! I couldn't deal with anymore, I sat at the dinner table, after everyone was done, and cried. I couldn't do anything, but cry because I felt so hopeless.
I called Mom, and she gave some great pieces of advice, and reminders. We took the baby steps we needed to and could take in regards to Jessie's case. And leave the rest to GOD, since we prayed for His help & guidance. We wrote up letters this past week/weekend and sent them off hoping to get resolution in the case. Why should we be forced to swallow and pay for a mistake that will not only cost us $39,924.74 but will cost Jessie his ability to get a passport to see his boys? Just because a moron in the in county can't do math? Now we sit and wait to see what happens.
But tonight as I got the kids ready for bed, Cyril looks up at me from the couch, with his dirty cheeks (Boys do so well.) and says "Kiss me Momma!" I get one of the most sloppy kisses, with one of his big bear hugs & for the moment, everything feels like it's going to be okay, like I can breathe again. All from a 3year old's kiss.
God Bless,
After everything that has been going on with Jessie's child support case, and then tonight I was given a summons, due to my car accident 2yrs ago. I was DONE! I couldn't deal with anymore, I sat at the dinner table, after everyone was done, and cried. I couldn't do anything, but cry because I felt so hopeless.
I called Mom, and she gave some great pieces of advice, and reminders. We took the baby steps we needed to and could take in regards to Jessie's case. And leave the rest to GOD, since we prayed for His help & guidance. We wrote up letters this past week/weekend and sent them off hoping to get resolution in the case. Why should we be forced to swallow and pay for a mistake that will not only cost us $39,924.74 but will cost Jessie his ability to get a passport to see his boys? Just because a moron in the in county can't do math? Now we sit and wait to see what happens.
But tonight as I got the kids ready for bed, Cyril looks up at me from the couch, with his dirty cheeks (Boys do so well.) and says "Kiss me Momma!" I get one of the most sloppy kisses, with one of his big bear hugs & for the moment, everything feels like it's going to be okay, like I can breathe again. All from a 3year old's kiss.
God Bless,
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