I wonder...

We spend SO much time as women, as moms, thinking that we must do everything, and not only do everything, but it must be perfect. We must be super moms. Society says that we should be working moms, our homes should be perfect, we should be master chiefs - making healthy meals for our family, our children should always be well-behaved, the list goes on and on. FOR WHAT!? Why do we listen to this, why do we beat ourselves up endlessly for this? We CAN'T do it all, but we struggle and struggle to do it all. We must as moms, and as a family choose which is for the best for our family. Be okay with that choice.

Lately, with us trying to get back on FlyLady, and getting things back on track that way, I was hit with something. Why do we have to do it all alone, and be perfect at it? Who is this Master score keeper? The Lord? He's not keeping track of these things, because He knows we can't do it all. But nevertheless, we act like we must do everything perfect to get that "medal"...where our priorities? By trying to do it all perfectly, there are for many of us, where things are slipping on all levels...so where do we prioritize? Why is it when things go wrong, people look for excuses, or for others to blame, especially when it comes to raising our children? This year - I have decided to start making better choices in what and how I want to raise my kids. I'm sick and tired of the disrespect, lack of manners of kids, lack of good hygiene, this list goes go on and on. I'm not always perfect, and may not always get it right, but as least I'm trying, not blaming others.

For example: I've noticed the difference in the ways that my children clean, and their attitudes about it. Part of me is filled with great sadness about it. When Dawn & Spencer were little - I felt so overwhelmed with everything, and the fact that I couldn't do it all perfectly...I just stopped. I've known about FlyLady, but have struggled with it. The kids when, they were little like Cyril's age now, would try. Either I would tell them, that it wasn't right and/or I'd redo what they just did. Or I'd get frustrated with their lack of help, and crab about how I was the ONLY one doing. (Which is how I've done frequently now that they are older.)Now looking back, I realize how devastating that is to their self esteem. Why did it matter that it had to be perfect? Who cares? Now with Cyril, I let him help all the time...well within reason(as long as it's not dangerous). Granted his attention span is about 10 minutes, he doesn't always listen, AND it's sometimes a lot messier then before he "helped" me. But to see his eyes light up, as he's helping. IT'S priceless people!

I hope I'm not alone in this, but if I am that's okay. I'm glad I realized the mistake before I did it with the last two, and I'm doing my darnest to try and undo the mistake with the older two. For example - last weekend was the 1st time, Dawn & Spencer have ever helped, and I mean really helped clean the bathrooms. It was so HARD to let them do it all by themselves. They wiped down the counters, tub, swept the floors & etc. Sure I could have done a better job, but the pride in their eyes, when I said "Job well done." Was priceless. It KILLED me not to go back and "fix" what they did, but I knew that would crush them, and I didn't want to do that. I had plenty of time this week to clean it up, which I did in my daily chores, but when the kids asked what I was doing: "Keeping up the great job you all did, this past weekend." Again seeing their eyes sparkle and shine was wonderful. Why can't I do more of that?

Today Cyril - has been bound and determined to help me with everything. He had to help with the dishes (He got a mini bath), he had to clean the patio windows with Windex. I swear he used half a stack of napkins & Windex. But it was cute to see him do it. He had to help me roll the rug to vacuum the living room floor. He helped the kids & I pick up the toys in there too. He's waiting "patiently" to help with the laundry, thankfully they are sorted before we start. lol. But I'm hoping that I will continue to boost his self-esteem, and create good cleaning habits, that I did such a poor job with the older two.

God Bless~
Carlena